I took my kids to an appointment this morning, and I had to meet with a nutritionist about their diet and overall wellness. She was asking a series of typical dietary questions, and there was a pause and a funny look every few questions, and an implied sense of disbelief that my children ate so well. I try not to be the fat girl with the chip on her shoulder, but it was very obvious that the woman didn't expect my children to eat healthy foods and exercise, because in her mind, I clearly did neither. I pretended not to notice her indiscreet judgment, and I finally said, "They're AdvoCare kids. They're healthy!". To this she immediately replied, "oh, you're a distributor". To those who know AdvoCare, the distributor is the entry level. It was another fat stereotype. I must have just started, or have been unsuccessful because I was still fat. I blew that off, because I was starting to get uncomfortable with the whole encounter. She asked a few more questions, and then got right back to my weight. She started asking if I was keeping the weight off, since I had been involved for a while. I told her I kept my pregnancy gain down to 7 pounds, and then lost 30 after I gave birth, and that I was currently down another 10 pounds in my first week of a 24 Day Challenge. She looked away, and didn't even respond! It was like she didn't believe me!
My kids are all very healthy weights, and there was no reason to assume they were not being fed as well as I suggested. She was very aware that I have had 5 pregnancies in 6 years, and that alone should be enough explanation for how I can eat healthy and still be fat! And what she doesn't know, and wouldn't care about if she did know, is that I have a 37 degree curvature in my lumbar spine, 3 ruptured discs, a couple building discs, and asthma! I bet if she tried to stay active and healthy with that same list of problems, her outlook would be a lot different.
My point is, those of us who are very overweight face people like this everyday. They don't even see a problem with looking down on us, because it is immediately assumed that its our fault we are fat, and if we didn't want to be, we would change something.
Everyone has their own reasons for being over weight, and trust me, none of us want to be, or are choosing it! We do change things. We think about our weight a lot more often than thin people, too! Even with the new science that proves obesity is a genetic predisposition, we are shoved up a lower social standing. We have to live in hardcore diet mode just to keep our weight down! We don't have the luxury of letting go for a few months, and then shaping up for swimsuit season! If we let go for a few months, we gain 60 pounds! I am speaking from experience! I stopped paying attention to what I ate for 3 months when I quit smoking, because I felt like kicking the addiction was more important than the weight gain. I gained 60 pounds within that time. I wasn't laying on the couch, main lining lard into my veins. I was just eating out and having seconds and snacks to control my cigarette cravings. I have seen thinner people do this my whole life, and they will gain less than 15 pounds. We are not made of the same material! It does not make us less important people, or mean that we are lazy and lack self control.
Here's the worst part: I won't report that lady, and no one else will either. Why? Because fat people get treated like they're crazy if we make prejudice complaints. We get treated like we have a chip on our shoulders, or like fat prejudice isn't real. That adult bully will never be held accountable for the way she treated me, and will continue to bully and look down on overweight mothers.
Remember one thing. I know this is hard, because I can't believe it myself most of the time, but remember one thing! Your weight does not define who you are! Just like the color of your skin, religious preference, sexual preference, and gender does not change your right to be treated equally, the size of your body doesn't, either!
Furthermore, I had an odd breakfast. I made myself a plate with 2 thin slices of ham, guacamole, and half a baked sweet potato. I didn't end up eating the sweet potato because it seemed like too much food once I got started. Guacamole on ham is delicious!!! I suggest that everyone tries it! Ham is not one of the leanest meats, so I certainly don't recommend eating it as often as you would fish or poultry, or that you eat very large portions. I had less ham, today, than the amount of chicken or turkey I would eat.
Snacking on an apple.
I had too much for lunch. I had the same thing as I had for breakfast, but I used 2 slices of ham (same as breakfast) and twice as much guacamole.
I did about 85 solid minutes at the gym, and ate a cutie in the car to keep from getting sick again. It didn't work. I drank some water when I got home, and tried to wait out the weak stomach , and that didn't help, either. I've been puking all night! I want a soda or an Icee so bad to get my nausea under control, but I don't want to mess up my 24 Day Challenge. I have the worst stomach in the world!! I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but I am seriously feeling terrible!! It's been 3 hours since I left the gym, and I'm still vomiting!!!
My final attempt at feeling normal again was a handful of grapes and a glass of ice water. I haven't thrown up, yet, and I'm going to bed right now to avoid it.
I'm going to try to eat exactly 45 minutes before my workout tomorrow, I'm going to keep up with how much water I'm drinking (some sources say don't drink too much, some say don't drink too little), and I'm going to have a protein right after my without. I'm also going to try to drink slower after I work out. All of these things have been suggested to me to help with the nausea. If I still get sick, I'm going to try cutting out my pre workout supplement to rule it out as the cause.
Thanks for all the prayers and support! I knew this night not always be easy. God will get me past this!!
